Decision Time

 

So…I have been thinking.

I know.

That could be dangerous.

But I have been.

Sometimes it has been while waiting in the carpool lane.

(The carpool lanes I should say. At three different schools. But that is another post. For another time. Be jealous.)

Other times I have awakened in the middle of the night.

Thinking.

And in the midst of all this cerebral activity I have come up with a solution to one of my many problems.

No… not split ends.

Or teeth whitening.

You see, I suffer from indecisiveness.

Simply put: I can’t make a decision.

Without worrying.

And fretting.

And chewing the inside of my cheek.

So in all my thinking…

I have come to the conclusion….

that what I really need is to hire a decision maker.

I am not looking for someone to decide the big stuff.

I can do that.

Want more babies?

No.

Want to make more money?

Yes.

I am looking for someone to make small daily decisions on my behalf.

Like what should I eat for breakfast?

Or should I eat at all?

What should I wear?

Should I work today or try to catch up on my homework?

What color should I paint the bathroom?

Should I cook or call for take-out?

Pepsi or Coke?

Paper or Plastic?

You see where I am going with this.

So, send me your resumes.

Only serious decision makers need apply.

No flip floppers wanted.

That is all.

Not Me! Monday

Oh how I look forward to Mondays.

I look forward to them because

a. the kids go back to school.

b. everyone puts up a new post on their blog.

c. I get to participate in Not Me! Monday with MckMama and tell you all the things I did NOT do!

Shall we get started?

I did not just post my Not Me! Monday on Tuesday.

I know what day it is.

Let's just pretend mmmkay?

I did not stay home (again) for New Year's Eve this year.

I did not hang out with the family in my PJ's.

I also did not hang out with my pretend friends on the computer.

I did not participate in any Wii games that would cause me to lose to a four-year-old.

Especially if it was by a very large margin.

And I did not pretend to let him win so that I would not look quite so pathetic.

I did not fall asleep just before the ball dropped.

And my family did not jump on me at the stroke of midnight to make sure I knew the new year had arrived.

I was not already well aware due to the inconsiderate neighbors setting off illegal fireworks.

I did not utter any silent prayers that their eyebrows would be singed off.

I would never wish harm upon any one.

I did not want to retract my resolution post about ten times this week.

I have not already broken half of them.

Nope, not me.

I do not still have Christmas decorations all over the dining room table.

I would never have that stuff still sitting out two weeks after Christmas.

And I certainly would not have the spotlights still on the front lawn.

You know me better than that.

I did not listen to Cole go potty last night only to hear ... nothing.

I did not spring from my bed to find a very large puddle beside the toilet.

Thank goodness that did not happen.

Because then I would have to clean and disinfect in the middle of the night.

And I don't do night time cleanings.

Ever.

What about you?

What haven't you done this week?

Check out what everyone else didn't do at MckMama's place.