Dear Mr. Gas Meter Reader,
I would like to send you my deepest apologies for the image that I feel certain will forever be etched in your memory. As you rounded the corner of my house this morning, I am sure that you were not expecting to see me. And by me, I mean ALL of me. Perhaps you got a little too close to my window. I don't usually make it a habit of parading around my home nekkid. Most of the time I can be found completely covered. But today, my dear reader of my meter, was not your lucky day. I had just showered and realized I forgot my towels. The linen closet is just outside my bedroom. I tiptoed to the closet. I reached for the towels. And. there. you. were. It was definitely a case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. I am quite certain that you were not prepared to see that much white, dimply flesh. I pray you did not eat breakfast this morning. Oh, how I pray. And I hope this will not cause you to have aversions to cheese that is cottage. (Though I feel sure that it will) I hope your corneas will heal soon and you will not intentionally overcharge me this month.
The nekkid chick in the window,