You pick up the local paper and read this:
On Sept. 28, a woman reported someone pried open her front door and stole the following: Food valued at $4 and a speaker box valued at $50.
On Sept. 29, an employee of a local grocery store reported someone stole the following: A bag of chips valued at $1, two packages of lemon drops valued at $1, and a box of aluminum foil valued at $1. All items were recovered and the incident was cleared by an arrest.
Do we not have anything more exciting to report?
I have more excitement going on in my home than that.
On Sept. 29, a five year old stole his sisters Oreo and refused to give it back. He denied the incident but was found guilty when the evidence of said cookie was all over his face. Punishment is pending.
On Sept. 30, an incident of assault with a deadly weapon was reported as a thirteen year old, who certainly knew better, whacked his little brother in the head with a ping pong paddle. Punishment was immediately administered.
Oh, and for the record...if I am ever caught stealing, please let it be for an 87" plasma and not a ham sandwich and cough drops.