Monday, December 29, 2008
Monday, December 22, 2008
I have come to look forward to this day in which I admit all the many things I have not done!
This week I have not threatened that Santa may not come to our home.
I did not utter the words, "I am giving away all your presents...if you get any!"
And my kids did not look at me as though I had three heads.
I have not lost my patience with my kids this week.
Not even once.
I have not had to replace the ornaments on our tree 1,000 times.
And I have not had to place gifts back under the tree 1,000 more.
Cole is not driving me crazy taking ornaments on and off the tree.
He has not tried to "shake" anything breakable.
I did not walk in the living room to find my kids playing "football" with Elfie.
And Elfie has not lost his hat.
My children would never do that.
While finishing some last minute shopping early this morning, I did not leave the house with my sweater wrong-side out.
Nope, not me!
And when passing a mirror I did not think I had tape on my side....
only to find out it was a tag.
That would have been so embarrassing.
I was not so vain that I ducked into the ladies room to right-side the sweater.
I did not then walk through the store with it on backwards.
The vanity did not set in again and send me to the ladies room to finally get it right.
I am sure no one noticed.
I did not utter a silent prayer that those early morning shoppers did not come shopping with a camera.
And that none of them have a blog!
What about you?
What haven't YOU done this week?
Click here for more Not me! Mondays.
Thanks MckMama for hosting this event that I don't enjoy each week!!!
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Fa la la la la!
That is right...it is hunting season around here.
My favorite time of year!
*insert lots of sarcasm*
As I may or may not have expressed before... I am not outdoorsy.
Hunting in the woods would be considered outdoorsy.
Therefore, not. my. thing.
It is my husbands thing.
I don't get it.
He leaves the house at the crack of too early.
He is dressed from head to toe in camouflage.
Except the bright orange hat atop his head.
Which looks completely ridiculous.
And he masks his scent with IcannotbelieveIamgoingtowritethis...
He shimmy's up a spindly tree and sits in a tree stand 40,000 feet in the air.
Just so he can pop some unsuspecting prey.
What is the fun in that?
I think he should make the game a bit more fair.
He should dress from head to toe in Blaze Orange.
He should stand out in the open.
And he should mask his scent with oh, I don't know...Bacon?
Then let the games begin.
I really don't wish harm upon my husband.
I don't want to see him injured or maimed.
But I also hate the thought of the poor little creatures of the forest being taken out.
Especially by my husband.
I love that my computer addictions have not caused one animal to suffer.
I have never had to hide behind the computer screen wearing camo.
And the best part...I have never, ever worn urine.
At least not intentionally.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Well, it's that time of the week again.
The time where I share with you all the things I certainly have NOT done.
Please bear with me as there was a lot of NOT doing this week!
I have Not been a slacker blogger.
I have definitely Not failed to visit even one blog last week.
And I most certainly did Not run out of time in my day to write even one post.
Pathetic I know.
I am not dying to know how you all are.
I am not wringing my hands and tapping my foot with eager anticipation of "catching up" with you all.
Excitement is not written all over my face.
I have not set aside my evening of party planning, baking, and card writing to read blogs.
Nope, not me!
I am not enjoying this busy season.
I am not enjoying the lights.
And the music.
And the spirit of it all.
I most assuredly am not enjoying the shopping.
Not. one. bit.
I have not witnessed my Christmas tree fall to the floor.
And I definitely did not see that happen twice.
I have not had to replace various strands of lights.
I have also not had to rearrange ornaments when they all mysteriously moved to the eye level of one four-year-old.
I have not waited until 10 days before Christmas to decide on my Christmas cards.
Who would do such a thing?
Certainly, not her.
She dreamed of hers this summer.
And it is fabulous.
I did not think of mine in the shower this morning.
And it really is NOT fabulous.
I have Not forgotten about our dear Elfie this week.
He has never moved five minutes before the kids got up.
And he never appeared in a different location two hours after they awoke.
Because the kids would have figured that out.
And I would be "caught"!
What about you?
What have you NOT done this week?
Join me for Not Me! Monday and share.
Monday, December 8, 2008
It was love at first sight.
There was just something about that little
I knew I had to have one.
Then I forgot all about it because it was May and all I had on my mind at the time was end-of-school parties.
And the pool.
I am nothing if not forgetful.
And a follower.
And so with that gentle reminder I searched high and low for my own Elfie.
Today our eyes met while I was drooling over a Vera Bradley bag in Hallmark.
There he was.
In a box.
Ready for me to take him home.
So I did.
Have you heard about The Elf on the Shelf?
It is such a cute idea.
You just purchase the box that includes the hardback book and the Elf.
You read the book to your family.
In the story it tells how Santa can not be everywhere to check on the boys and girls so he sends his elves.
They keep an eye on everyone during the day.
Then each night the elves "fly" back to Santa and let him know who has been naughty and who has been nice.
You place the elf somewhere in your home and the next morning the elf is in a different spot.
The kids will run around to find where the Elf is each morning.
I just hope I remember to move him.
I am not so good at the remembering you know.
Maybe McMommy will send me a reminder email to move him each night. *wink*
Friday, December 5, 2008
It started out well.
Twenty-one four year old children arrived at school wearing their finest holiday attire.
They were buzzing with excitement.
They were going to perform in a Christmas Program hosted by the Council on Aging.
They had each made a Santa hat out of construction paper.
Complete with cotton trim and possibly way too much glue.
They all looked quite festive.
Transportation had been arranged to get all the children to the hotel in a timely manner.
It took careful planning but everyone arrived safe and sound.
Upon entering the lobby, you could hear the excitement of the children.
They eagerly anticipated their turn "on stage".
Imagine our surprise when we were told that the program had been moved to a different day entirely.
We had prepared for an event that would not happen.
We had dressed up unnecessarily.
Parents took off work for no reason at all.
All because a simple phone call was never made.
Communication was forgotten.
Thank goodness our children will never know what might have been.
Instead we lined them up in the foyer.
The pianist hummed the tune and I, the music teacher, led those sweet children in Christmas music.
They sang their little hearts out to seven songs of the season.
The audience consisted only of parents, employees of the hotel, and a few overnight guests.
They clapped and cheered as if there were hundreds.
The children were so proud.
They smiled and bowed.
They had worked so hard.
This morning I felt the Christmas spirit.
And I saw it on the faces of 21 precious angels.
Monday, December 1, 2008
It was so much fun I thought I would try it again.
Here is my week in review.
I did not go an entire week without writing a post.
I love my little blog too much.
I did not worry that I would lose all my readers while I was away.
All 3.5 of you.
You are still there....right?
I did not feel completely consumed with my class reunion last week.
I did not speak to the chairperson
I did not email or text her every ten.
I did not
I did not send out mass emails threatening lives if they didn't show up.
That is just not my style.
No one in my graduating class waited until last week to send me their money.
I did not get a phone call on Thanksgiving night, oh say about 9:15 pm, from someone who just found out about the reunion.
I did not get another call, oh say about 6:45 am, letting me know their check was in the mail.
Because that just wouldn't be right.
I did not have to meet people all over town to get their checks.
I did not consider hiring security.
I am not concerned at all that most of my classmates know where I live and have my cell phone number.
Not one bit.
I did not go to my parents for Thanksgiving.
It was not wonderful.
I did not smile all the way there just knowing it wasn't at my house this year.
I of course did not eat too much.
I had a class reunion to attend.
I did not finish it off with a slice of Hummingbird cake.
I did not drive two hours home and then rush to the theater to make the 9:40 movie.
I did not see Twilight.
I did not enjoy it even more the second time.
While shopping for a dress, I most certainly did not look at only black ones.
And I did not inquire about Spanx.
When the saleslady said Spanx would make me look like I was 10 pounds lighter, I did not say, " I will take 4!"
I absolutely did not decide on the eve before my reunion to get a spray tan.
I did not come out with any shade of orange on my body.
And my legs did not look like bronze road maps.
Because that would not have been the look I was going for.
And I would know better.
I did not have the best time at my reunion.
I did not get to see friends I haven't seen in years.
I did not wear these shoes.
And I most certainly did not dance in them until midnight.
That would have been silly and irresponsible.
And my feet would hurt the next morning.
Want to join in ? What haven't you done this week?
Check out more Not Me! Monday fun here.
Need to know the rules? Go here.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
It looked like fun.
So here is my first ever Not Me! Monday.
I did not manage to lead 55 children in song at the annual Thanksgiving program at the preschool.
One little girl certainly did not have to go potty just before we began and she certainly did not begin crying profusely.
She did not have to be taken off stage never to return.
Her mom would have been so embarrassed.
Speaking of embarrassing.
I did not see any one flash me their panties and I did not see any one pick their nose.
Especially no child of mine.
I did not see Cole turn his back to the audience so he could "pick" privately.
I did not jump for joy (in my mind) when it was over!
I did not let the praise an adoration of the parents go to my head.
I did not secretly giggle thinking if only they knew there is not a trace of musical ability in my body.
I did not think I could relax after the Thanksgiving program was over.
Nope... not me.
The director of the preschool did not sign us up to sing in a Christmas Concert for the elderly in our community.
And she did not mention it was next Wednesday.
I did not panic.
I do not have to teach the children Christmas songs and put together a program in 4 practices.
I do not need to be reminded again why I am doing this.
I have never mentioned any of my many addictions.
One of them is definitely not the Twilight series.
I did not jump up and down with excitement when I heard it was being made into a movie.
I did not purchase my tickets a week in advance so I would be assured of a seat.
I do not have addictions like that.
I did not go to see Twilight on opening night.
I was not one of the oldest people in the theater.
I am not seconds away from adding a tube of Clearasil to my bathroom cabinet.
I did not feel like a crazed tween fan when Edward came on screen.
My heart did not flutter.
And I most certainly did not want to scream out, "Marry me!"
That would have been so silly.
I did not want to watch it again.
And definitely not the same night.
I did not enjoy it at all.
I am not still preparing for my class reunion.
I did not consider not going since I never lost those 25 pounds that I needed too.
I did not have to deal with irresponsible classmates this weekend who have waited until the last possible moment to pay.
I did not have a great time last night with the reunion committee.
I did not enjoy looking through photos from the last 30 years.
I did not laugh and giggle at all our eighties hair.
I did not wish to burn some photos of my fashion sense.(or lack of)
Go on over to her blog and check out more of the Not me! Monday fun!
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Look really closely at these photos.
Do you see something that is not supposed to be there?
No, I know the shrubs need pruning and the yard needs weeding.
Now turn your head down to the right.
Do you see something glistening and white?
That my friends is snow.
Yup, the first of the season.
Probably the first in several seasons.
It may be all the snow I see this year so I took the opportunity to run around in the flurries and snap a few photos.
I know it is hard to see.
I know it looks like a slight case of dandruff falling from the sky.
But I live in the south and we don't see much snow.
So I admit I got a little giddy about the flurries.
Is it possible to make just a teaspoon of Snow cream?
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Thanks to Google Analytics I have more.
They were just too good not to share.
Wendi with an i
Yup, you found me. Not that many of us. I love the spelling of my name.
Thanks for noticing. Most people don't. They usually spell it Wendy with a y. Who is clearly not me.
Because I Said So Dogs Name
I must discourage naming your dog Because I Said So. That would be a mouthful to just get your dog to heel or sit. "Because I Said So heel boy."
And then the dog would look at you and wonder why and you would reply, "Because I Said So." And then the dog would be even more confused. Just not a good idea.
Of course you could be asking what my dogs name is since my blog once was called Because I Said So. In that case....Tar. See simple. One syllable.
Heels Driving Snow Site
I have no idea how you got here. I haven't seen snow in years.
Not. a. flake.
Short love poems made on dog bites.
Hmmmm. I enjoy a good poem, but I have never written one on dog bites.
I will give it a try.
Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
If you break my heart,
I will sic my dog on you!
Scariest Chili Recipe
My feelings are hurt. Why would you be sent here? I make a mean chili.
Not scary chili. I call it Wendi's Can Can Chili because I use a can of this and a can of that. I don't see anything scary about it. It is quite tasty really. Try it.
I scared to send kiss you because I don't want to infect you.
What is up with the scared theme here? Although for this one I am glad.
I don't want you to send me any kisses. Especially if there is a possibility of infection. Go stalk some other blog!
Wendi watching grass grow.
There is a lot of things I do in a day. I am a mom of three children. I can assure you that I do not have any extra time to be watching grass grow.
When the dog bites, When the bee stings, When I'm feeling Brown.
I hope you just got confused on the lyrics here. The word is Blue.
When I am feeling blue. If you are feeling brown, may I suggest a doctor.
Outdoorsy Kids Vacation
If there is one thing I am not it is outdoorsy. I am allergic to camping.
And bugs. And wild animals. And dirt. And cooking over a campfire.
And fishing. Next.
Fall asleep sitting slurring words
Guilty. I do this often when reading books to my children. They find it annoying. It is hereditary. My mom did it too.
If you are falling asleep sitting slurring words because you are drunk then I think a 12 step program is in your future.
What to do if an addict is in denial.
That is easy. Embrace you addictions. Own them. I did.
I was in complete denial about my blogging addictions. Once I admitted I had the addiction I added a few more. Like Twitter. Now I am Social Network addict and proud of it!
Husbands fishing addiction
Boy did you come to the right place. Where do I begin? I am just thrilled that none of my addictions have left me injured, wet, cold, sunburned, or smelly.
One of these shoes is not like the other
Maybe you should try buying a matching pair. Mismatched shoes are so last year.
You're my urinal
I certainly hope not. I don't want to be your urinal. Though I do have a lovely one on my front steps. At least Nana thinks so.
Monday, November 17, 2008
I clicked THE button.
You know the one of which I speak.
The "mark all as read button".
When my reader hit 748 I knew I was just going to get further and further behind.
So last night I mustered up all my strength.
Closed my eyes and clicked it.
Nothing blew up.
My heart didn't stop beating.
The earth continued to spin.
I felt a sense of peace wash over me.
I will never know what I did not read.
I am going to be okay.
I now challenge you.
When your reader gets too full and the pressure becomes too much...just click it.
You will thank me later.
Claire has come down with Fifth Disease.
Also known as "Slap Cheek".
Her cheeks are rosy red and her upper body is covered in a fine rash.
I sent her to school because she is no longer contagious.
She called me at noon to ask if I could pick her up.
She thought it had spread.
She could possibly have a fever.
And her back was a bit itchy.
I went to school and signed her out.
Funny thing...since she has been home... no mention of fever or itching.
I think she got me...AGAIN!
I have been working hard on my class reunion.
I am collecting the monies.
And harassing the non-payees.
I feel more like a thug than a treasurer at this point.
It also just occurred to me I have 2 weeks to lose 30 pounds.
That IS possible... right?
I can just chew on air for the next fourteen days.
That is my plan anyway.
I mean I have only known for 20 years that this day was coming.
Nothing like waiting until 2 weeks before to
I am nothing if not a procrastinator.
I have a horrible cough.
I am not sleeping well at night.
Because I am coughing.
My voice is hoarse and my throat is sore.
This Friday is the Thanksgiving Program at the preschool.
Remember who the music teacher is?
After three days of practice, I wonder how I will sound?
Maybe if the audience is lucky I will lose my voice all together.
If I am not around much this week, just know that the busy got me.
Hopefully, next week will be slower.
I am a lucky girl.
Tomorrow I have a free afternoon.
To do with what I wish.
My husband was
I haven't decided what to do first.
I may just drive my car around the block, park it, and take a nap.
I wonder if the neighbors would notice?
Friday, November 14, 2008
I love anything with his sweet hand prints.
I love this fall tree.
Check out Cole's fine cutting and gluing skills.
Almost on the lines is good...right?
I love it!
Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek
Thursday, November 13, 2008
It is for me too.
But sometimes things aren't always fresh baked cookies and field trips over here.
I would love to paint you that "perfect" picture, but truthfully that is not how it is.
Take this morning for example.
I was looking over an assignment Claire did.
I noticed a few typos and grammatical mistakes.
I also knew she had not included a few of the requirements.
I offered to retype the assignment and make the corrections.
All hell broke loose.
Claire was not interested in having me correct anything.
It was her assignment after all.
Screaming and crying ensued.
And that was just me.
Then Claire started.
Then Chad added his two cents worth.
Which I clearly did NOT ask for.
I don't try to be controlling.
I was only trying to help.
But sometimes my good intentions come across as controlling.
Or trying to make everything perfect.
For that I am sorry.
I am still learning.
I am not a pro at this whole Mom gig.
I still make mistakes.
I made a huge one this morning.
Will fresh baked cookies and a hug make it all better?
That is what I am hoping for.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
The teachers pointed to a picnic area and we scurried off the bus in hopes of the warm sun thawing us out.
That my friends did not happen.
The picnic area was shaded and cold.
The wind was relentless.
At that point I was wishing my cold sandwich and grapes would turn into hot soup.
We all ate quickly and then headed up to the dunes.
I don't think I have ever seen dunes so large.
And wouldn't you know it.... they wanted us to climb them.
So we did.
One step at a time.
We trudged and trudged.
From the top you could see for miles across the Outer Banks.
It was a beautiful view of the island.
Then I noticed most of the kids were no longer on top of the dunes.
They were rolling down them.
Notice she chose to take OFF her shoes.
Because who would climb sand dunes at the beach with shoes on?
Of course being the fun mom I am I chose to stay put.
And keep my shoes on.
I did not want to find sand in places sand should not be.
I stood on top of the dunes and snapped photos.
I also belted out things like, "Don't roll down if you think you can't climb back up".
And "Look at all that sand, do you really want to take that home as a souvenir?"
Like I said...fun mom!
The kids had a great time and Jockey's Ridge was by far the highlight of their trip.
Sand and all!
We spent a few hours there and then headed to the Bodie Island Lighthouse.
After a brief tour we were on our way home.
My little happy dance ensued.
Monday, November 10, 2008
We only drove a few miles down the road before we came to our next stop.
The Wright Brothers Museum.
The greatest part?
It was warm.
The Lost Colony was warm in comparison.
Do you see that memorial off in the distance?
Way off in the distance?
Like 3,000 miles in the distance?
Yup, we walked up hill against the ferocious winds that were stinging our faces.
I would like to personally thank Elaine for getting me started on my running program.
I am not sure if my endurance could have handled it otherwise.
We got to the top, snapped a few photos and then wouldn't you know it?
They wanted us to walk back down.
I looked for a ski lift or a complimentary golf cart.
No such luck.
So we began our descent.
Which eventually became a slow jog.
Which turned into a sprint to the finish line.
The finish line being the tour buses.
Which were heated and housed my blankets.
Our next stop?
to be continued...
Friday, November 7, 2008
Last week I went on a field trip to the Outer Banks.
With a bunch of fourth graders.
What was I thinking?
I will tell you what I was thinking.
A fun, educational trip with 6 hours of reading and nap time.
Um, have you ever ridden a bus with a lot of fourth graders?
Not conducive to naps or reading.
We had to leave at 6am.
Again, what was I thinking?
About fifteen minutes into our trip, the drama ensued.
All the kids were busily chatting on their Nintendo DS's.
Someone called someone a bad word in chat room B.
Everyone was in a tizzy over who did it?
It was like a real life version of Clue.
You know It was Mrs. Scarlett in the library with the candlestick.
Only this time it was
The girl in the hoodie, in seat 23, with a red DS.
Who of course denied it.
Thank goodness for smart, techno savvy teachers who figured out the culprit.
We arrived at The Lost Colony three hours later without much more drama.
I have lived in North Carolina my whole life but I honestly don't remember going to see the The Lost Colony.
It was actually quite interesting and educational.
For me anyway.
We went down to the stage where they put on the production.
The stage was built right in front of the ocean.
How cool is that?
Speaking of cool...it was just that.
I have only been colder one time in my life.
On the shore of the North Sea.
This may have been a close second.
What the temperature didn't do, the wind did.
Layer upon layer of clothes.
Wind whipping our faces.
After this picture, the hat, gloves, and scarf came out.
Then we clamored back on the bus and hoped we could warm up before our next stop.
We never did.
To be continued....
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Get out and vote!
I voted last week.
The lines were long, but I was still in and out in 30 minutes.
Four years ago I waited in line for 3 1/2 hours.
With a 7 month old.
It could only be worse if I had to take a four year old.
And possibly a nine and twelve year old.
So glad I don't have to go there.
I puffy heart early voting.
My husband is off today.
One guess as to where he is.
He already voted last week too.
Oh how right you are.
He is on a boat....fishing for um, well...fish.
The weather forecast?
Cloudy, windy, and 90% chance of rain.
That would mean in all likelihood it will rain.
When will he learn?
I am so glad my
Last week the busy never let up and I am way behind in my visiting and commenting on your blogs.
My reader is sitting at 614.
I see no other way out of this.
I may have to resort to that "mark all as read" button.
Please forgive me?
Last Thursday I went on a field trip to the Outer Banks with a bus load of 4th graders.
Lets just say that the 12 hour excursion provided me lots of blog fodder.
And 200 photos.
Has anyone started their Christmas shopping?
Please don't tell me if you have already finished.
I may have to hunt you down and beat you.
I have started.
I now have 5 presents.
Two of which are wrapped.
My goal is to have my shopping completed by the end of the month.
A girl can dream ...can't she?
Monday, November 3, 2008
She enjoyed the decorating and the dressing up and the carnivals.
She enjoyed the trick-or-treating and the candy.
Especially the candy!
Then the little girl grew up and Halloween became HalloWORK!
There were costumes to create, parties to plan, cupcakes to bake, candy to buy, parties to attend, and a house to decorate.
She wasn't feeling the fun of the holiday anymore.
Each year when October rolled around she would mope and pout and cringe at the very thought of ALL that needed to be done.
Then one year the girl put on her thinking cap and thought of ways to enjoy Halloween again.
She decided to simplify her decorations.
She decided to buy simple costumes.
She decided not to volunteer as grade mother.
She decided to buy the cupcakes instead of baking them herself.
She only attended one party and only signed up to bring candy.
She let her twelve-year-old pass out the candy for the trunk-or-treat so she could walk with her four-year-old.
She decorated her trunk with minimum decorations.
At the end of the day, the girl was not as tired as she had been in years past.
The girl enjoyed Halloween again.
Especially the candy! (darn that candy!!!)
Friday, October 31, 2008
Hey. how did he get in there?
That is my Cole.
No, not a princess.
He is Dark Knight.
There could not be a more excited boy than he was this morning.
Getting ready for preschool was a pleasure.
I may have to let him wear his costume every day.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Sorry, I think I posted every day about my six hour experience.
Can you tell how boring my life is?
What is up with google, Gmail, and reader?
All the fonts are much bigger.
Is it just mine?
Maybe they heard my vision wasn't quite what it used to be.
And that I am in denial about needing an eye exam.
We went to Nana's last night for dinner.
Yup, you guessed it.
Fried chicken, homemade buttermilk biscuits, and an 8 layer chocolate cake.
My jeans almost didn't get buttoned this morning.
I can't begin to tell you how disappointed I am that Nana did not provide any "Nanaisms".
Thus no good blog fodder.
I am sure you are just as disappointed in Nana as I am.
If you are not familiar with Nana you can read about her here and here.
This morning as I hurried about the kitchen preparing snacks, lunches, and a roast for dinner, Cole walked in.
He looked straight up at me and said, "It must be hard to be you, you have so much things to do."
"Yes Cole it is hard to be me and you may be the only person that has recognized that lately. Thank you."
"You welcome Mommy!"
He is now my favorite.
Chase and Claire have a teacher workday tomorrow.
It is supposed to be cold and wet.
Would you think less of me if I said I was not looking forward to the day out?
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Talking on a cellphone.
Wait, how did that get in there?
Funniest moment of the day for me.
We were supposed to be transported back in time.
To a simpler life.
Where one made and grew their own things.
And this guy sporting his authentic "olden days" beard kinda ruined the moment for me with the cell phone.
Claire, Cole and I boarded a roll-a-coaster.
The guy trying to strap us in for safety kept mumbling something to me.
I just kept looking away, trying to ignore him.
Upon closer inspection of my photos I realized why I couldn't make out what he was saying.
Half of his teeth were missing.
What is it with fair workers and their lack of teeth?
Do they not offer a dental plan?
Do they live on cotton candy and soda?
Or do they know they always have this option open to them?
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
I love the State Fair.
When did all my favorites go fried?