Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Tis the Season

Tis the season.

Fa la la la la!

POW!

POW!

That is right...it is hunting season around here.

My favorite time of year!

*insert lots of sarcasm*

As I may or may not have expressed before... I am not outdoorsy.

Hunting in the woods would be considered outdoorsy.

Therefore, not. my. thing.

It is my husbands thing.

I don't get it.

He leaves the house at the crack of too early.

He is dressed from head to toe in camouflage.

Except the bright orange hat atop his head.

Which looks completely ridiculous.

And he masks his scent with IcannotbelieveIamgoingtowritethis...

Deer urine.

Ugh!

He shimmy's up a spindly tree and sits in a tree stand 40,000 feet in the air.

Just so he can pop some unsuspecting prey.

What is the fun in that?

I think he should make the game a bit more fair.

He should dress from head to toe in Blaze Orange.

He should stand out in the open.

And he should mask his scent with oh, I don't know...Bacon?

Then let the games begin.

I really don't wish harm upon my husband.

I don't want to see him injured or maimed.

But I also hate the thought of the poor little creatures of the forest being taken out.

Especially by my husband.

I love that my computer addictions have not caused one animal to suffer.

Not. one.

I have never had to hide behind the computer screen wearing camo.

And the best part...I have never, ever worn urine.

At least not intentionally.

21 comments:

duchess said...

You are so funny. Your hubby would love to visit my BIL. He owns a hunting lodge in eastern NC - they even have some of the Carolina Panthers come down to hunt. All of that masculinity running around in deer urine.....ah...choke, cough, cough. Not exactly the vision I'd hoped for.
I actually stayed at their house this past weekend & slept in my niece's room - she has two deer heads on her pink walls wearing lei's & santa hats. Ah - living in the south....there's nothin' like it.

Krystyn said...

Hilarious!

I don't get "hunting" either. Get a big gun, put out food for said animal wait for them to come, and then, bang. That is not hunting; that is feeding and tricking. I'm just saying!

Computer addictions are much safer.

The White House said...

I hear you! And my least favorite part is if they do kill something, and then they get it butchered and then they expect you to cook with it. And when you don't, it clutters your freezer. Gross.

amanda said...

thank the stars that my hubby isn't in to hunting! seriously if he was, i would be making him and his deer smelling self sleep outside.

you are a better woman than i :)

Mrs de Miranda said...

ugh my uncle hunts..he has alight that tracks blood! i hate it! it makes me shutter! i agree on the blogging thing!

♥spoiled mommy♥ said...

Ugh- they like to kill Bambi around these here parts too. I hate it...just not my thing.
But whatever!
Does he bring them home, mount them on the wall too?

Sue said...

You don't wear computer camo? Now that could be a new fashion we could make lots of money for!

C and C Mommy said...

I hate hunting but my husband and son think it is the coolest! I have now learned that there is "deer lease words" and "deer lease behavior." They keep trying to get me to go to the deer lease, but I think I will pass.

Carol said...

Fortunately both hunting and guns are highly scorned over here.

I dont mind it when people eat ALL of what they hunt but when it is just for fun I feel sick about it.

Glad I'm not the only one unintentionally had the experience of wearing urine.

Susan said...

I am so glad Mark isn't into hunting. Wearing urine??? Men...the only beings who would CHOOSE a sport or activity where that is required.
So funny!

Lauren in GA said...

You are so good! I love it. Yeah baby, bring on the bacon!!

Seriously, you are so, so good!

Elaine A. said...

You have two boys and you've never worn urine, c'mon!! ; )

We saw a hunted dear in the back of a pick-up on our trip last weekend and I felt so bad for him/her. I could never be a hunter...Poor Bambi.

Steph said...

Hunting so not my thing and thankfully nor is it Hubbys thing. Loved the post let me know how the hubs does hunting your way!

Steph said...

Hunting so not my thing and thankfully nor is it Hubbys thing. Loved the post let me know how the hubs does hunting your way!

Grammy Staffy said...

Hello again,
I've left a Christmas message for you on my blog. I hope you can drop by and read it.
Love, Grammy

aly said...

i learn something new everyday- like people actually put urine on themselves! yes i would stick to the computer!

Jen @ Mommay's Mayhem said...

Yea, I'm a hunting widow the second week in November every year. Just lovely.

pb&j in a bowl said...

I'm with you on this one! I don't get hunting- luckily, neither does my husband or we would have issues. Have a great weekend!

Elaine A. said...

Hey, come over to my place when you get a chance... I left you a little somethin'! : )

Jules from "The Roost" said...

Never got the whole hunting scene either......You are so funny! :)

anti-supermom said...

So your saying that no animal were harmed in the oublishing of this post?!

Me too, never worn deer urine :)