Thursday, March 4, 2010

Because One Open Letter Just Wasn’t Enough

Dear Husband,

     Thank you from the bottom of my little heart for spending every single night scraping, priming, puttying, and painting my kitchen.  I promise not to complain when I see brush strokes or tiny imperfections. I know you are doing this because you are a tightwad love me.  I understand why you want me to take the kids and “move out” Saturday when you install my new floor.  I promise to stay away and not peek.  Just promise me you will use a level and that no duct tape will be involved in this project.

xoxox,

Your wifey who expects a brand new kitchen from a $30 can of paint

 

Dear Furniture Seller Guy,

     Remember how you sold me a sofa 5 weeks ago?  Remember how you said it was in stock and it could be in my family room in 2 days?  Remember how you told me I would save money buying it from your store because all your furniture was manufactured locally?  Remember that sign that hung in your window that said”Ask me how to have furniture delivered in 2 days?”  I am asking.  How?  Because the last time I checked, I don’t have a new sofa.  Or chair.  And you are 4 1/2 weeks past your promised delivery date. When I called you yesterday to inquire about my furniture, you had no answers, just excuses. I really find it hard to believe that in 2010 you can’t look on a computer and see where my furniture is.  Texas? Missouri? Mexico? The North Pole?  I just need you to find it and if it wouldn’t be too much trouble, deliver it!  I would love it if that could happen in oh, say…..2 DAYS!!!

Best,

The slightly pissed off girl who is sitting on the floor

 

Dear Chase,

     Please always remember this day as the “Day My Mom Kept Her Cool”.  I want you to think about my tone and posture as I opened up my cell phone bill and discovered that the amount due was akin to my mortgage payment. Think of the calm way in which I asked if you had any idea of the number of texts you sent and received this month. Remember how I gave you a hug and told you I wouldn’t blame you or take your phone. I want you to remember this day my dear son, because if it ever happens again, I might not be so cool.

Love,

Mommy

PS Welcome to the world of unlimited texting.  You. are. welcome.

 

Dear Winter,

     I am over you.  Please go find another state to bother.  I have always enjoyed your brief visits and slightly cooler temperatures. You have overstayed your welcome and quite frankly… I am freezing. On your way out, please take the snow with you.

Sincerely,

The girl with five layers of clothes on and frostbite

 

 Dear Spring,

     Oh how I have missed you. I will welcome you with open arms. Arms that are not confined by heavy coats and bulky sweaters. Please come soon.

Love,

Your biggest fan

65 comments:

Lyla And Company! said...

your so retarded! LOVE the cheapskate husband bit! hahahaha! Boy would Dan LOVE to hire someone to do that at our house (for a change) he always does it by himself (bwess his hawt)!

Oh Chase you are one. lucky. boy.!!!!!

Brooke and Kent said...

i am just not sure how you stayed so cool. it must be because of the winter.

your so silly

Cade and Brittany said...

You crack me up. So glad you are back!!! Sorry for all the frustrations but it made my day to have a good laugh.

Katie said...

Ohhhhh I can't wait to come see your new kitchen (and learn how to accomplish that for $30 . . . I vote you are the next presenter for Relief Society activity). Way to be a calm mom, and I am SOOOOOO with you on being DONE with Winter. We have been through for awhile, but he doesn't seem to be taking the hint.

Ashley said...

can't wait to see pics of the new kitchen...and i'll sign my name under yours on the "winter" letter!~

stephanie howard said...

Thanks for the smiles you brought to my day!Chase is one lucky boy! I am afraid I would make my son pay that heafty bill just like my parents made me pay the $200.00 phone bill I had when I was 14. Oh and I really think I would have to cancel that furniture order, 5 weeks, that is crazy!!!

Alyssa said...

I can not wait did i say WAIT to put away all of my winter clothes! LOVE this post

Kelli @ writing the waves said...

Oh! I hope you are getting some of the nice weather this week. It was almost 70 here! Pure bliss, I tell ya!

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
The Roaming Southerner said...

Hey Wendi!
Long time no check up, which I am sorry about. I am now going to scour the next several months of your life with a fine tooth comb! Or just stalk your posts again.

Wendy@RuensOnTheRun said...

Enjoyed all your letters!

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