One of my BFF's came by with a Mother's Day card for me today.
Awwww how sweet!
The card was entitled "Reality TV Shows for MOMS"
How did she know I was thinking of this very subject?
She is the best!
I would just scan the card and let you see it, but alas I don't have a scanner.
That would have been a nice Mother's Day gift. *ahem*
Instead, you will just have to visualize as I share with you the Titles.
"Reality Shows for Moms"
"America's Next Top Multi-Tasker" ( Amy, you are good at driving and nagging, but Susan here can do all that AND chat on her cell! Sorry!)
"Laundering With The Stars"
"The Simpler Life" (You have to drink this margarita AND lounge by the pool. Can you handle that?)
"Project Runaway" ( Trying to run from the chaos within)
"Pimp My Minivan"
"Super Naggy"
Finally, I received an email yesterday telling me about another reality show in the making.
Actually, it is a spin off of "SURVIVOR".
You know how much I love reality t.v.!
I know, I know, another unknown fact about me.
I will share with you the following description of the program.
Let me know if it is something you think you would watch.
THE NEXT SURVIVOR SERIES
Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and three kids.
They will stay on the island for six weeks.
Each kid will play two sports and either take music or dance classes.
There is no fast food.
Each man must take care of his 3 kids; keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, and complete science projects, cook, do laundry, and pay a list of 'pretend' bills with not quite enough money.
In addition, each man will have to budget in money for groceries each week.
Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and
relatives, and send cards out on time.
Each man must also take each child to a doctor's appointment, a dentist appointment and a haircut appointment.
He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to the Urgent Care.
He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a social function.
Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house,
planting flowers outside and keeping it presentable at all times.
The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.
The men must shave their legs, wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes, keep fingernails
manicured and eyebrows groomed.
During one of the six weeks, the men will have to endure severe
abdominal cramps, back aches, and have extreme, unexplained mood swings.
During this week he may never once complain or slow down from other duties.
They must attend weekly school meetings, church, and find time at least once to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting.
They will need to read a book and then pray with the children each morning and night, feed them, dress them, brush their teeth and comb their hair by 7:00 am.
A test will be given at the end of the six weeks.
Each father will be required to know all of the following information: each child's birthday, height, weight, shoe size, clothes size and doctor's name.
He will also need to know the child's weight at birth, length, time of birth, and length of labor.
In addition, he will be responsible to know each child's favorite color, middle name, favorite snack, favorite song, favorite drink, favorite toy, biggest fear and what they want to be when they grow up.
The kids vote them off the island based on performance.
The last man wins only if...he still has enough energy to be intimate with his
spouse at a moment's notice.
If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over and over again for the next 18-25 years eventually earning the right to be called a MOTHER!
So, what do you think?
I would watch.
Heck, I am volunteering my husband as a contestant.
I will call the executives at Survivor as soon as I make the beds, call the Moms with their assignments for the PTA, wash the dishes, finish the 15 loads of laundry, run the kids to their activities, bake the cookies, complete the Math project, go to the grocery store, visit my neighbors, cook dinner, buy new cleats, volunteer at school, bake the bread, teach at the preschool, help with homework, hem the dance costume (*ahem* have someone else hem the costume), take the pictures, give the baths,.....(well, you get the picture)
Hope your Mother's Day is a little escape from reality.
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!
