Sunday, May 11, 2008

REALITY TV SHOWS FOR MOMS


One of my BFF's came by with a Mother's Day card for me today.

Awwww how sweet!

The card was entitled "Reality TV Shows for MOMS"

How did she know I was thinking of this very subject?

She is the best!

I would just scan the card and let you see it, but alas I don't have a scanner.

That would have been a nice Mother's Day gift. *ahem*

Instead, you will just have to visualize as I share with you the Titles.

"Reality Shows for Moms"

"America's Next Top Multi-Tasker" ( Amy, you are good at driving and nagging, but Susan here can do all that AND chat on her cell! Sorry!)

"Laundering With The Stars"

"The Simpler Life" (You have to drink this margarita AND lounge by the pool. Can you handle that?)

"Project Runaway" ( Trying to run from the chaos within)

"Pimp My Minivan"

"Super Naggy"

Finally, I received an email yesterday telling me about another reality show in the making.

Actually, it is a spin off of "SURVIVOR".

You know how much I love reality t.v.!

I know, I know, another unknown fact about me.

I will share with you the following description of the program.

Let me know if it is something you think you would watch.


THE NEXT SURVIVOR SERIES

Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and three kids.

They will stay on the island for six weeks.

Each kid will play two sports and either take music or dance classes.

There is no fast food.

Each man must take care of his 3 kids; keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, and complete science projects, cook, do laundry, and pay a list of 'pretend' bills with not quite enough money.

In addition, each man will have to budget in money for groceries each week.

Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and
relatives, and send cards out on time.

Each man must also take each child to a doctor's appointment, a dentist appointment and a haircut appointment.

He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to the Urgent Care.

He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a social function.

Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house,
planting flowers outside and keeping it presentable at all times.

The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.

The men must shave their legs, wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes, keep fingernails
manicured and eyebrows groomed.

During one of the six weeks, the men will have to endure severe
abdominal cramps, back aches, and have extreme, unexplained mood swings.

During this week he may never once complain or slow down from other duties.

They must attend weekly school meetings, church, and find time at least once to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting.

They will need to read a book and then pray with the children each morning and night, feed them, dress them, brush their teeth and comb their hair by 7:00 am.

A test will be given at the end of the six weeks.

Each father will be required to know all of the following information: each child's birthday, height, weight, shoe size, clothes size and doctor's name.

He will also need to know the child's weight at birth, length, time of birth, and length of labor.

In addition, he will be responsible to know each child's favorite color, middle name, favorite snack, favorite song, favorite drink, favorite toy, biggest fear and what they want to be when they grow up.

The kids vote them off the island based on performance.

The last man wins only if...he still has enough energy to be intimate with his
spouse at a moment's notice.

If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over and over again for the next 18-25 years eventually earning the right to be called a MOTHER!

So, what do you think?

I would watch.

Heck, I am volunteering my husband as a contestant.

I will call the executives at Survivor as soon as I make the beds, call the Moms with their assignments for the PTA, wash the dishes, finish the 15 loads of laundry, run the kids to their activities, bake the cookies, complete the Math project, go to the grocery store, visit my neighbors, cook dinner, buy new cleats, volunteer at school, bake the bread, teach at the preschool, help with homework, hem the dance costume (*ahem* have someone else hem the costume), take the pictures, give the baths,.....(well, you get the picture)


Hope your Mother's Day is a little escape from reality.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!

19 comments:

just jamie said...

Funny stuff! Happy Mother's Day!

Dancin Queen said...

LOVE IT!

Kristen said...

I love reality TV too. Dare I admit that my fav right now is the Bachelor?? Honestly, I need "reality" tv that is so far from real life, that I can get into it! :)

Great card your BFF got you!

Hope you had a fabulous Mother's Day!!

brooke said...

Too Funny .. and kind of depressing at the same time! I don't know how ya'll do it!

Anonymous said...

My hubby has always "dreamed" of being a Survivor contestant and might have been a good contender a few years ago; but I assure you this is one reality show he knows he has no chance of winning! How do we do it????

Happy Mom's Day! Lovin the pretty pink peonies! (have Cole practice that one)--it was hard for me to say.

Snowbird

LaskiGal said...

Oh, I so would watch that!!! I'm into a little reality TV myself, I have to admit!

Happy Mother's Day!

duchess said...

Another thing we have in common - I'm a reality show junkie. I know, I'm not proud but I am what I am.

My husband would fail miserably at this show & I'm afraid my kids would be scarred for life but it's fun to think about.

Thanks for the laugh.

Grammy Staffy said...

I just finished watching the final episode of this season's Survivor. I think that you should suggest your show idea to the media. I know all moms would watch each week. The only thing is, I'm not sure that they could get any dads to be on the show....it might be way to hard for them to attempt.

Thanks again for your nice comment on my blog. I always appreciate hearing from you.

Lauren said...

I loved this!

I want to be on, "Laundering with the Stars" 'cause nothing else seems to be motivating me to catch up on the laundry...


Loved the *ahem* about the scanner ;)

McMommy said...

Hooray! I'm not the only reality show junkie!! I'm embarassed to admit, but my new favorite is....The Real Housewives of New York! Addicted, I tell ya!

Ummm...and how do I audition for The Simpler Life? I'd like to take that challenge on! :)

Motherhood for Dummies said...

ha haa greaaat card

Motherhood for Dummies said...

ha haa greaaat card

Leah said...

Are you sure you didn't steal some top ranked executive's idea from an ABC teleconference?! Seriously?!

I love the idea - AND - while I was sitting here trying to think of some detail you might have missed - I couldn't think of anything - SO, well done on the brainstorming!

You're a fabulous woman, especially that wee-little part of it that includes the title of "mother." Happy Mother's Day, babe. :)

OHmommy said...

Heeehheee.... what a great idea for a show.

I would LOVE to watch that. ;)

Emy5 said...

What a great idea for a comedy! I love the movie Mr Mom and any other shows where the Dad takes over mom's duties for a while.

I love my job as a mom (most of the time) and wouldn't trade it for my husband's job. I could not do his job at all. He is awesome too.

Lynell said...

Great idea! It is sure to be a hit. I want my husband to be a contestant. Ü

amanda said...

too funny :)

happy belated mommy day to you!!

i'm kelly said...

that mother's day card sounds perfect. and i love your version of survivor, my hubby can play too.

carrie & troy keiser said...

Thanks once again for the smile! Great post!
It's called life actuality not reality! :)