Thursday, February 21, 2008

PAULA DEEN... I AM NOT!!!




I am a Southern girl.



I am proud of that fact.



One of the things we “southern gals” are known for is our cooking.



We have been taught that food is the pathway to the soul.



We are a hospitable lot.



When someone has a baby, we show up with a meal. When someone is sick, we are knocking on the door with soup. When a new neighbor moves in, we are there with a dessert in tow. Heck, we appear with food for just about anything we can find an excuse to bake for!



Seriously.



I am no Paula Deen. I do not claim to be Rachael Ray. I am most certainly no “Naked Chef” (aka Jamie Oliver) or even Bobby Flay. Sadly, the only thing I have in common with Giada is that I LOVE to cook! (though not in the “buff" like Mr. Oliver)



I am not afraid of the kitchen.



It is my friend.



I feel comfortable around garlic and balsamic vinegar.



I have a torrid love affair with Ghirardelli chocolate.



Most of my cakes and cookies are made from “scratch”.



Which is why I am still puzzled at the Cake-ala -CRAP I produced Sunday.







What is wrong with this picture?



Does it not remind you of the cover of Bon Appetit?



No? Me neither.



Stop laughing.



No…that is not a piece of cake that was spit upon a potato chip.



It is a freshly baked cake placed gingerly on a yellow baking cup.



It was suppose to be this.



I found this scrumptious recipe from Stie. (a great and funny read by the way!)


Her photos had me at …HELLO!


The title, “Bite Sized Bits of Deliciousness” did not hurt either.


She used “a box” cake mix and store bought frosting.



This I could certainly do.



To make it even easier, she posted step by step instructions (with photos I might add).



This would be a breeze.



How could I go wrong?



Wrong!



I don’t follow directions very well.



I am not patient.



I want what I want and I want it NOW!



Which is my excuse for not following her instructions to FREEZE the cake before cutting and frosting. I put it in the freezer, but only for an hour. Trust me…a 9x13 cake does NOT freeze in an hour!



That was my first problem.



The second was my frosting.



I, (the southern cook) did not use Stie’s advice on the store bought icing. I, (the southern cook) made my homemade buttercream frosting.



YUM-O!



YUCK-O!



The almond extract I used was old…not new...not good.


Is it possible for extract to ferment?



It tasted like something that could possibly be illegal until you are 21.



My son said it had the aftertaste of toothpaste.



Toothpaste atop chocolate cake? Now there is a concept. Not a very good one.



And so… my icing (all 3 boxes of powdered sugar and butter and vanilla) and the old almond extract went in the garbage disposal.



None of my friends or neighbors received Cakes of Deliciousness.



I left the 9x 13 chocolate cake in the freezer.

I found it the next morning.

Frozen.



I hurried to the store and bought 2 containers of already made Cream Cheese Frosting.


I came home prepared to conquer the cake.





I did it!





They were indeed most delicious!



The “prettiness”?


Not so much.



Stie, you are my new found GIADA!!!
I , on the other hand will resort to serving these:







8 comments:

Amanda said...

I'm not sure how I found you, but I am glad that I did. This was hilarious. I am in awe of Stie and her bites of deliciousness. No way could I do them. Way to go , they look so good!

Emy5 said...

I found you through Stie's blog and just had to drop by and look at your cakes. I think they look fabulous. Way to go for trying the idea!

Christie said...

Let this be a lesson to you: When Stie says to do something, do it. It is only because I have screwed up so many times myself that I know the little tricks, like making sure it is frozen. I applaud you for trying again after failing. Thanks for the laugh. I needed it today.

QueenAnderson said...

All your posts crack me up, I bet the cake was good no matter what you did to it!!
I'll stick to those break apart ones.... :-)

Anonymous said...

I am still first in line for position as your manager. I have to know more about this Stie stuff. Is it simple enough for someone as alien to homemaking as me? Love ya and keep the good stuff comin'! I need all the distractions I can get at this point. And yours is such a fun one to keep me in stitches for the next 24 months--right??????
Snowbird

Cecily R said...

HA HA! Great stuff!

I think your second round of cakes look pretty darn good. Although I try (sometimes), I am no baker. Not at all. My sugar cookies always taste like bicuits with frosting on them and my cake mix cakes fall in the middle and burn on the edges. I am a hopeless cause. :)

Leah said...

wendi - i've been an onlooker for weeks, but haven't commented till now. your posts always make me smile -and even belly laugh. the best so far is the fish, i believe - and this is a close second. :)

you go girl! :)

Katie said...

This post brings joy to my little heart. Not only because it's incredibly hysterical (I can picture you saying this as I read), but also because it means there is hope. If you, an amazing chef, sometimes falter in the kitchen, then that means there is hope for me, lol.