Friday, February 1, 2008

They Must Have Their Father's DNA

The last post was short and sweet. This one will not be! Yesterday was the “usual craziness” mixed with some “unusual craziness”. I stayed around the house in hopes of catching up on the million and one things that need to be attended to. However, I did venture out to the grocery store with Cole to pick up a few needed items. The grocery store was not too bad, but the ride to the grocery store…was…well…is “hell” a bad word? We only live 5 minutes from the store and those were absolutely the longest 5 minutes of my life.

“Are we going to the gro-ce-re-y store mom?”

“Am I going to get some snacks Mom?”

“Hey Mom we just passed Burger King”

“Mommy did you hear me?”

“It’s me- Cole…did you hear me?”

“Mommy I want some Chicken Nuggets!”


(he is now kicking the back of my seat and trying to get his seat belt undone)




(my tires are squalling and my Yukon XL is being turned on a dime)

“Really Cole… you mean it?
“ If I get you some nuggets you will be a sweet boy in the store?”
“And you promise not to put lots of things Mommy does not need in the cart?”
“And you promise not to make everyone in the entire supermarket look at me and wonder why I am allowed to have kids?”

“Yes Mommy…I promise!”

"May I take your order?"
“Yes, I would like a Kids meal please. A four piece chicken nugget with fries and chocolate milk!”

(I know if my parents are reading this they are rolling their eyes and thinking to themselves- Where did we go wrong?) Sometimes you have to pick your battles! ( didn't Mom teach me that?)
I will have to say the visit to the store today was much better than the ride there!

No… I am still not finished with my exciting day…it gets better! Chase and Claire came home from school. We did the usual homework and studied for way too many tests. (Insert here the previous post entitled “Why Children Should Not Be Allowed To Play With Markers”) I took Claire to her dance class and ran home to start dinner, throw in one more load of laundry, and clean up the markers all over Coles’ face before heading back out. (What transpired while preparing dinner and getting Chase ready for his ballgame is another blog!) Anyway, I survived and we were off to pick up Claire from dance and take Chase to his basketball game! Whew! (That wore me out just typing it!)

Okay…so here we are at the game. My husband was supposed to get off from work and meet me there. (No Chad) Okay I can do this. I put Claire and Cole on a bleacher and I stand beside them. (just in case I should need to run) I am trying to watch Chase play ball. I know he will ask me if I saw a certain play and I need to be watching! It was a good game. The score was tied.

I suddenly notice that my children have left the bleacher and are running around me playing “tag”. What? Cole decides to run in a much larger circle than his sister which means he is now inside the black lines of the court. (Which means he will be flattened if I don’t scoop him up before the herd of 11-12 year old boys come running.) I scoop him up, explain the danger and place him back on the bleacher. His sister (remember social butterfly) spots a friend in the crowd, so she heads to the other end of the bleachers. Great Claire! I was trying to stay low, watch the game, and escape. Now, her three year old brother is following her…which means I have to walk in front of all the fans and parents. “Excuse me! Excuse me!” I reach the other end of the gym.

The kids are safe. They are sitting. I begin to enjoy the game again. Chase is fouled. He goes to the free throw line. The score is 37-29. There is a “hush” over the crowd! Then the silence is broken. “Mommy, I need some help!” I turn and look. My eight- year –old daughter has somehow gotten herself wedged between the wall and the last bleacher. I mean she was stuck! Feet dangling. Stomach exposed and pinched.
I can’t believe I said this, but the only thing I could think of was, “Claire, Chase is at the free throw line…can this wait?”(I am just teasing about saying that, but I was thinking it! ) Again, trying not to make a huge spectacle of myself… I stand at the top of the bleachers and try to pry Claire’s bottom and legs out of the space. Not working. She starts crying. A little girl half her size comes over and decides she will join in the fun. She lowers herself into the same position. She does not get stuck! I am not amused that she can fit and my daughter cannot! This is not the time for Show and Tell! Just before calling a friend to bring the Crisco and Jaws of Life… she got out! I am now exhausted and sweating- literally! By the way, Chase made both of his free throws. I know this because I saw him with my right eye while I was bent over, squinting with my left.

My cell phone starts ringing. It is Chad wanting to know the score of the game he is missing because of a late customer. I do not answer. I have another problem. Where is Cole? I can hear him…but cannot find him. I look up and around. I look down. There he is …under the bleachers! Great! I am trying to decide which less obvious way I can get to him and he moves. He was crawling and sliding the entire length of the bleachers.
Do you know how much dirt, dust, and other crap is under there? I wish I had brought my camera… I would share a picture of the dirtiness with you. (You will just have to use your imagination!) Pretty gross to say the least! He somehow got away with three runs of going under the bleachers before I caught him. (Did I mention it is disgusting under there?)

I held him in a semi-awkward football hold and paraded out of the gym with my "touchdown". I sat him in the closest chair and dared him to get up. (There was 2 minutes left in the game and we were up by 4) I stood in the doorway determined to watch the end of the game. Cole was in my sight. He was two arm lengths away! We score a basket. I am cheering! I turn to check on my time-out – monster. He’s gone! Panic! I look inside the gym. I look in the foyer. I look in the bathrooms. More panic! I see him. He is standing at the water fountain getting a drink of water! “I was firsty Mommy!” I mumbled something under my breath like “you need to march over to that chair and put your bottom in it and don’t get up again until you are 30”. We won the game! Chad missed the game.

We arrive home, some of us more exhausted than others. We eat our now room temperature Chicken Tostados. Daddy comes home.

“So, how was the game?"


OHmommy said...

LOL... I kid you not... we went through McDonalds drive through yesterday and I had beef stew cooking in the crock pot at homw. Sometime you pick your battles. Today we ate yesterdays stew...

Rebecca said...

I wish you had taken your camera...though I can see you clear as day in every event that happened!!! You are right sometimes you just have to pick your battles...Maddie is all about some chicken nugget happy meal with choc milk, so I feel you there.
Once again your post has cracked me up..though you weren't really laughing at the time :)

Rachel said...

I feel your pain...sometimes I wonder if it is worth leaving the house...Keep smiling...missed ya yesterday.