Not Me! Monday

I can't believe it is Monday again.

And I have once again been absent from Blogville.

My apologies to all my loyal readers.

I promise to resume my regular ramblings postings soon.

Because it is Monday...that can only mean one thing... Not Me! Monday.

Shall we get started?

I did not cook and bake way too much last week.

I did not taste one morsel of any of it.

Because that would just be irresponsible.

And put inches on my waistline.

So I certainly did not partake.

I did not shop entirely too much.

I did not go a little overboard on the shopping this year.

Especially considering the economy and our job stability.

I did not tell my husband that I was just trying to help stimulate the economy as a way to justify my spending.

And I most definitely did not use that line more than once.

I was not up until 3am wrapping gifts on Christmas Eve.

And I did not beg grovel trick ask my brother, who has no children, to help.

He did not witness my OCD issues at their finest.

I did not tell him how to wrap or that "Santa" presents must be wrapped in "Santa" paper.

He did not laugh or make fun of me once.

My husband did not try to put three gifts in one box to be lazy cut down on the wrapping.

And I did not throw a fit, pout and re wrap.

Because opening three gifts is better than one....right?

My 12-year-old did not hear his father and his friend delivering his ping-pong table at 11pm.

And he would never peek out the window to make sure.

And he would certainly never, ever, wake up his sister to tell her what he saw.

Because that would be mean.

And older brotherish.

And spoil Christmas for her.

And me.

Thank goodness that did not happen.

My parents were sick and could not make it a few days early to help with controlling my stress restricting my food consumption cooking, baking, shopping, watching the children.

I was saddened by their absence.

Thank goodness I did not need any help or extra hands.

I always have it together.*ahem*

Moving right along.

I was not the slightest bit disappointed that it took 3.5 seconds for all the presents to be unwrapped Christmas morning.

Considering it took me 5.3 hours to wrap them.

Nope, not me.

I enjoyed it.

And the smiles on their faces let me know that all the stress and chaos of the season was worth it.

So, what haven't you done this week?

Why don't you join us at MckMama's and tell us all about it?

You will be glad you did!

I really do hope that each of you had a wonderful Christmas.

I hope that you were able to enjoy it with the ones you love.

I hope you ate, and laughed, and hugged.

A lot.

I hope it was Merry!!!

Not Me! Monday

It is that time of the week again for another installment of Not Me! Monday.

I have come to look forward to this day in which I admit all the many things I have not done!

This week I have not threatened that Santa may not come to our home.

I did not utter the words, "I am giving away all your presents...if you get any!"

And my kids did not look at me as though I had three heads.

I have not lost my patience with my kids this week.

Not even once.

I have not had to replace the ornaments on our tree 1,000 times.

And I have not had to place gifts back under the tree 1,000 more.

Cole is not driving me crazy taking ornaments on and off the tree.

He has not tried to "shake" anything breakable.

I did not walk in the living room to find my kids playing "football" with Elfie.

And Elfie has not lost his hat.

My children would never do that.

Thank goodness!

While finishing some last minute shopping early this morning, I did not leave the house with my sweater wrong-side out.

Nope, not me!

And when passing a mirror I did not think I had tape on my side....
only to find out it was a tag.

That would have been so embarrassing.

I was not so vain that I ducked into the ladies room to right-side the sweater.

I did not then walk through the store with it on backwards.

The vanity did not set in again and send me to the ladies room to finally get it right.

I am sure no one noticed.

I did not utter a silent prayer that those early morning shoppers did not come shopping with a camera.

And that none of them have a blog!

What about you?

What haven't YOU done this week?

Click here for more Not me! Mondays.

Thanks MckMama for hosting this event that I don't enjoy each week!!!

Tis the Season

Tis the season.

Fa la la la la!

POW!

POW!

That is right...it is hunting season around here.

My favorite time of year!

*insert lots of sarcasm*

As I may or may not have expressed before... I am not outdoorsy.

Hunting in the woods would be considered outdoorsy.

Therefore, not. my. thing.

It is my husbands thing.

I don't get it.

He leaves the house at the crack of too early.

He is dressed from head to toe in camouflage.

Except the bright orange hat atop his head.

Which looks completely ridiculous.

And he masks his scent with IcannotbelieveIamgoingtowritethis...

Deer urine.

Ugh!

He shimmy's up a spindly tree and sits in a tree stand 40,000 feet in the air.

Just so he can pop some unsuspecting prey.

What is the fun in that?

I think he should make the game a bit more fair.

He should dress from head to toe in Blaze Orange.

He should stand out in the open.

And he should mask his scent with oh, I don't know...Bacon?

Then let the games begin.

I really don't wish harm upon my husband.

I don't want to see him injured or maimed.

But I also hate the thought of the poor little creatures of the forest being taken out.

Especially by my husband.

I love that my computer addictions have not caused one animal to suffer.

Not. one.

I have never had to hide behind the computer screen wearing camo.

And the best part...I have never, ever worn urine.

At least not intentionally.

Not Me! Monday

Well, it's that time of the week again.

The time where I share with you all the things I certainly have NOT done.

Please bear with me as there was a lot of NOT doing this week!

I have Not been a slacker blogger.

I have definitely Not failed to visit even one blog last week.

And I most certainly did Not run out of time in my day to write even one post.

Pathetic I know.

I am not dying to know how you all are.

I am not wringing my hands and tapping my foot with eager anticipation of "catching up" with you all.

Excitement is not written all over my face.

I have not set aside my evening of party planning, baking, and card writing to read blogs.

Nope, not me!

I am not enjoying this busy season.

I am not enjoying the lights.

And the music.

And the spirit of it all.

I most assuredly am not enjoying the shopping.

Not. one. bit.

I have not witnessed my Christmas tree fall to the floor.

And I definitely did not see that happen twice.

I have not had to replace various strands of lights.

I have also not had to rearrange ornaments when they all mysteriously moved to the eye level of one four-year-old.

I have not waited until 10 days before Christmas to decide on my Christmas cards.

Who would do such a thing?

Certainly, not her.

She dreamed of hers this summer.

And it is fabulous.

I did not think of mine in the shower this morning.

And it really is NOT fabulous.

I have Not forgotten about our dear Elfie this week.

He has never moved five minutes before the kids got up.

And he never appeared in a different location two hours after they awoke.

Because the kids would have figured that out.

And I would be "caught"!

What about you?

What have you NOT done this week?

Join me for Not Me! Monday and share.

The Elf on the Shelf

Way back in May, McMommy wrote a post about The Elf on the Shelf.

It was love at first sight.

There was just something about that little creepy looking footless cute elf.

I knew I had to have one.

Then I forgot all about it because it was May and all I had on my mind at the time was end-of-school parties.

And vacation.

And the pool.

I digress.

McMommy recently wrote a reminder post about The Elf on the Shelf.

I am nothing if not forgetful.

And a follower.

And so with that gentle reminder I searched high and low for my own Elfie.

Today our eyes met while I was drooling over a Vera Bradley bag in Hallmark.

There he was.

In a box.

Ready for me to take him home.

So I did.

Have you heard about The Elf on the Shelf?

It is such a cute idea.

You just purchase the box that includes the hardback book and the Elf.

You read the book to your family.

In the story it tells how Santa can not be everywhere to check on the boys and girls so he sends his elves.

They keep an eye on everyone during the day.

Then each night the elves "fly" back to Santa and let him know who has been naughty and who has been nice.

You place the elf somewhere in your home and the next morning the elf is in a different spot.

The kids will run around to find where the Elf is each morning.

Sounds fun...right?

I just hope I remember to move him.

I am not so good at the remembering you know.

Maybe McMommy will send me a reminder email to move him each night. *wink*

Music In The Lobby

This morning was like any other.

It started out well.

Twenty-one four year old children arrived at school wearing their finest holiday attire.

They were buzzing with excitement.

They were going to perform in a Christmas Program hosted by the Council on Aging.

They had each made a Santa hat out of construction paper.

Complete with cotton trim and possibly way too much glue.

They all looked quite festive.

Transportation had been arranged to get all the children to the hotel in a timely manner.

It took careful planning but everyone arrived safe and sound.

Upon entering the lobby, you could hear the excitement of the children.

They eagerly anticipated their turn "on stage".

Imagine our surprise when we were told that the program had been moved to a different day entirely.

We had prepared for an event that would not happen.

We had dressed up unnecessarily.

Parents took off work for no reason at all.

All because a simple phone call was never made.

Communication was forgotten.

Thank goodness our children will never know what might have been.

Instead we lined them up in the foyer.

The pianist hummed the tune and I, the music teacher, led those sweet children in Christmas music.

They sang their little hearts out to seven songs of the season.

The audience consisted only of parents, employees of the hotel, and a few overnight guests.

They clapped and cheered as if there were hundreds.

The children were so proud.

They smiled and bowed.

They had worked so hard.

This morning I felt the Christmas spirit.

And I saw it on the faces of 21 precious angels.

Not Me! Monday

Last week I participated in Not Me! Monday for the first time.

It was so much fun I thought I would try it again.

Here is my week in review.

**************************

I did not go an entire week without writing a post.

Not me.

I love my little blog too much.

I did not worry that I would lose all my readers while I was away.

All 3.5 of you.

You are still there....right?

I did not feel completely consumed with my class reunion last week.

I did not speak to the chairperson daily hourly every five minutes.

I did not email or text her every ten.

I did not beg ask any one to go.

I did not send out mass emails threatening lives if they didn't show up.

That is just not my style.

No one in my graduating class waited until last week to send me their money.

I did not get a phone call on Thanksgiving night, oh say about 9:15 pm, from someone who just found out about the reunion.

I did not get another call, oh say about 6:45 am, letting me know their check was in the mail.

Because that just wouldn't be right.

I did not have to meet people all over town to get their checks.

I did not consider hiring security.

I am not concerned at all that most of my classmates know where I live and have my cell phone number.

Not one bit.

I did not go to my parents for Thanksgiving.

It was not wonderful.

I did not smile all the way there just knowing it wasn't at my house this year.

I of course did not eat too much.

I had a class reunion to attend.

I did not finish it off with a slice of Hummingbird cake.

Or two.

I did not drive two hours home and then rush to the theater to make the 9:40 movie.

I did not see Twilight.

Again.

I did not enjoy it even more the second time.

While shopping for a dress, I most certainly did not look at only black ones.

And I did not inquire about Spanx.

When the saleslady said Spanx would make me look like I was 10 pounds lighter, I did not say, " I will take 4!"

Nope...not me!

I absolutely did not decide on the eve before my reunion to get a spray tan.

I did not come out with any shade of orange on my body.

And my legs did not look like bronze road maps.

Because that would not have been the look I was going for.

And I would know better.

I did not have the best time at my reunion.

I did not get to see friends I haven't seen in years.

I did not wear these shoes.

And I most certainly did not dance in them until midnight.

That would have been silly and irresponsible.

And my feet would hurt the next morning.

******************************

Want to join in ? What haven't you done this week?
Check out more Not Me! Monday fun here.
Need to know the rules? Go here.