Thursday, October 16, 2008


The fabulous Elaine of The Miss Elaine~ous Life wrote a post about running.

She spoke of her love of it.

She shared how much better she felt.

I was intrigued.

I wanted to know more.

I needed to know more.

So an email and twitter relationship was born.

Elaine sent me all the information I would need to begin running.

I started on Monday.

I think at best you could call what I am doing a slow jog coupled with a lot of walking.

But hey I am moving.

Which is important.

My first night I was walking in my neighborhood.

I glanced down at my watch and noticed it was time to begin my heavy breathing slight jog running.

So I did.

As I turned the corner I saw a dog walker.

He was walking at a normal pace.

I was running at an unusually slow pace.

I could hear myself panting breathing.

I did not want Mr. Dog Walker to know of my outofshapeness.

So, I did the only thing I could think of.

I held my breath as I ran past him.

Not. a. good. idea.

When I got a safe distance from him...I nearly collapsed.

Not from running, but from depriving myself of oxygen!

What self absorbed lunatic holds her breath while running for fear someone will hear her heavy breathing.


Let me just say that I will not try that again.

I could hear the sound of my heart racing.

I was certain the medics would be called in and the "paddles" would be necessary to recharge me.

I was envisioning our conversation.

It went something like this:

EMT: What were you doing before you collapsed?

Me: Running

EMT: You were running? You don't look like a runner.

Me: I am not. I was trying it out.

EMT: Were you running too fast?

Me: Nope. A slow jog.

EMT: How could you almost have a heart attack when you were barely moving?

Me: I was holding my breath.

EMT: You were what? Why?

Me: I didn't want Mr. Dogwalker to hear my gasps of pain and my panting as I crawled past him.

EMT: Didn't your mother ever tell not to worry about what others think?

Me: Um, yea...once or twice. I should have listened.

Thank goodness that little scene was all in my head.

I survived my first night of running and have since done it twice more.

The first night I thought I would never stop perspiring.

Who am I kidding?

It was full on sweat.

Last night I really think I was more in control of my breathing and I perspired less.

I was feeling pretty good about myself until I woke up this morning.

And I had to relearn how to walk.

Boy was I sore.

If there is one thing I am not... it is a quitter.

I am planning my next run this afternoon.

Care to join me?

I would love the company...just don't mind my heavy breathing.


Jen said...

That is too funny! I just left a comment on another blogger's site about how to get into running. I was going to feature her tips on an upcoming Looking Fine post. I'm so intrigued by it.

You crack me up! Holding my breath is something I would do! Hilarious!

Cecily R said...

You are my new running hero. I betcha a candybar that I breathe harder and louder than you.

Outofshapeness might be my new favorite word.

Kristen said...

I just started running aka jogging/walking quickly this week too!! You and I are kindred spirits.

But instead of holding my breath I just turn up the iPod. I figure if I can't hear it neither can they! Strange I know! :)

Elaine A. said...

You're awesome Wendi!! You are doing so great! We'll be runnin' that 10K before we know it!

(could I possibly use anymore exclamation points in this comment?) Yes of course! : )


Elaine A. said...

Oh and....

P.S. Don't hold your breath anymore, mkay? ; )

Kami said...

I am the one who gave Elaine the program and I have personally done it. Not while holding my breath mind you...


I try to breath normally while running by people but you know what? I noticed that other people who ran by me were breathing heavy are supposed to be breathing heaving when you are doing cardiovascular activity!

Keep at it, trust me, you will be a runner soon. I can now maybe say I am a runner...or at least a slow jogger anyway.

And also? No more than 3 runs in one week or you will kill yourself!


Susan said...

Good for you!
I am trying to find a time that I can get out and run or walk or something, but I need a jogging stroller. Taking the crew with me is my only choice unless I want to go in the dark.
Keep up the great work!

Krystyn said...

Give me a couple weeks and maybe I'll join you.

Remember, the best thing for the soreness is to go again!

Good luck

Mrs de Miranda said...

Im starting too!! And you know what? I have totally held my breath while running past people before!! I laughed out loud when you said that! Would you mind sending me your program? I would love to read it (and implement it)!!

amanda said...

uhm i don't believe in sweating. or running.

but if you want you can run by my house and beans and i will wave :)

Lisa @ Take90West said...

I have totally done the holding breath thing lest someone think I was out of shape or something.
I think it is very cool that your are 'running!'

Ashley said...

if it makes you feel better...i could run down my hallway and be completely out of breath!!~

Lauren in GA said...

As I told a friend recently...I don't run unless something is chasing me...with a knife...and then that still might not be motivation enough...maybe if I were on fire or

but, thanks for the invite. You are hilarious. I love your writing :)

pb&j in a bowl said...

Good for you! If you want a book to help guide you with your running and some great tips on not passing out from lack of O2, try Jack Galloway's Running.

Amy said...

I too do not believe in running. No I take that back; I would like to run, but I have asthma and every time I try...yeah...not good. But I have definitely panted and been out of breath while walking very fast and have been completely embarrassed when walking by others. So yes, I have held my breath as well!! ha ha...But I congratulate you. I'm still trying to lose some baby weight, but can't find any time. Oh well, one of these days...

Jules from "The Roost" said...

Funny!!! I am starting to walk/run too, I "hear" you actually start liking it. Keep up the hard work.

duchess said...

Yay for Wendi!
Stick with it & for heavens sake BREATHE.

Stephanie said...

Good for you!! And a perfect story to boot. I need to start running again after reading some of the inspirational posts on here. We are getting a cool front so now is the perfect time to start!

Ellen said...

Wendi, you crack me up! I would love to see these "running instructions" of yours. Only if we lived closer, I would go with you, we wouldn't be able to hold our breath due to our laughing so much. Keep up the good work, you'll be lookin' fine!

Katie said...

Wendi, this was HILLARIOUS! You made my day. This is why my running streaks never last longer than a few days. Although, the other night when it felt surprisingly cool and autumn-ish I had the urge to run. It quickly passed, and I moved on to eating food that isn't good for me. Tell me when you figure out how to love it, so I can learn too! P.S. I have most DEFINELY done the holding the breath thing before. . . not a good idea!

Lisa said...

I must tell you - I ate 3 chocolate chip cookies and drank a glass of milk while reading your post & contimplating running. I think you & I could have a future together as running partners, huh?

Theresa said...

Please send me the program, I am the definition of outofshapeness....

Mamasphere said...

I do that! I get to work early and take the stairs. I hold my breath when I walk by offices that have early birds (there are alwasy three or four), and by the time I get to my desk I'm ready to pass out. Lol. Are you going to keep it up? Is it getting better after only three times?

LaskiGal said...

AWE . . .Wendi! That is awesome. I'm so proud of you for getting out there!

I'm preparing for my first half marathon this April.

I've been a runner all my life--a more recent distance runner (track coach, so I gotta keep goin'!).

The key is keepin' on keepin' on!!! And you have the spirit for it, let me tell ya (and a kick butt sense of humor doesn't hurt!).

Marla said...


C and C Mommy said...

I started running last Spring and I really enjoy it. The funny thing is I tell my students I run. A few of them of seen me and they quickly inform me that I am just jogging. Oh well.....I tell them it is more than most of them do!!

Good luck!!

lov said...

i decided this summer to start running too...
after about 2 minutes of it, i gave it up for the whole summer...
but traded it for walking...
i feel like when i can walk a few miles with out getting too out of breath...then i might move to a slow jog! :)
(i'm up to 4 miles easy now...if only i could commit to it everyday!)

The White House said...

Good for you! I hate running. I am not exaggerating. HATE. Bring on the aerobics, but no thanks to running.

Erin said...

I am totally the same way. I have several friends that truly love to run... weird. I would love to say that I'm a runner- but it would be a lie- a big lie. Patrick and I shuffle, once in a while.

Keep it up!!

McMommy said...

"I had to relearn to walk"...ha ha ha!!!!

And I laugh because I know exactly what you mean!!

Kristy said...

That is so great that you are out running! It will get easier. :)

Grammy Staffy said...

Dear you make me smile.

Keep up the good work but please don't hold your breath while running...
no matter how hard you are breathing....

Take care

Carol said...

I am SO glad you survived.

Too funny about holding your breath.

When I collect Thomas from school it is at the summit of a big hill and without fail I am panting by the time I arrive. All the other parents drive or live close by so they aren't labouring to breathe like me and I have to REALLY concentrate on breathing shallowly while we wait for our kids.

Way to go on running, hope it continues to go well honey.

Carrie and Troy Keiser said...

OH, I hear ya on the starting up running! I was running for about 2 weeks, until my knees started to really protest! Then I went to just straight walking, which was working for about 2 weeks when it became hard to walk up stairs because my knees were protesting AGAIN! so now i do a little here and there! How am I ever going to loose weight and get in shape with such uncooperative knees!? I used too run,what happened to me? So I hope that you have nicer knees than me and you can actually meet your goals!