Tuesday, July 8, 2008

AN OPEN LETTER TO A PYROMANIAC

I had a wonderful Fourth of July weekend.

It was chocked full of swimming, food, baseball games, food, and fireworks.

Did I mention food?

I have been so busy that I haven't had much computer time.

Something happened last night that screamed "post".

And because of this, I must write another open letter.

I know you are sick of these.

So am I.

If these people would just leave a forwarding address or phone number, I wouldn't have to write and you wouldn't be stuck having to read .

We could all be happy.

That my interpeeps...just ain't happening today.

Bear with me.

I feel compelled to write.

July 6, 2008


Dear Pyromaniac,


Hi. I am the in-the-deepest-ever-rem-sleep-of-my-life-mom you woke up Saturday night. At 3am. Thankyouverymuch. I have no idea what I was dreaming about at the time, but it was deep. The ear deafening sound that penetrated my ear woke me from my slumber. I was sure it was a gun. I was certain it was at or near my head. It wasn't. I ran from one child's bedroom to another to check on my precious children. Everyone was breathing. Everyone was fine. Except me. I was not doing either. Then it happened again. The loud, familiar sound. I had heard it recently. Ah, yes. Fireworks. The sound of the rocket as it launched in the air and then the loud BOOM that followed. I ran to the dining room window and peered out. That is when I saw YOU in the dark just a block away. You had set up your little one-man show in the middle of the road. I have no idea what setting off the illegal fireworks did for you? I have no idea what was going on in your mind. I can only tell you what was going on in mine. Anger. Disbelief. Rage. Had I been dressed to go outside, I might have lit a firework up.... well, you get the picture. You must be young and very dumb. You see, just behind where you set up post lives a very important man in our community. The chief of police. (Let that information settle for a minute.) That might explain the rush of police cars to the scene. I just wanted to properly thank you for waking me up so early in the morning. I can usually count on my children to do that, but at least they do it quietly. I wanted to thank you for the near heart attack I experienced too. My heart is just now getting back to a normal arrhythmia. Finally, I wanted to thank you for allowing me to watch the sun come up. Due to all the commotion, I simply could not go back to sleep.
I am all for celebrating the Fourth. I am all for patriotism. I just think celebrating in the middle of the night is probably not the best idea. The next time you have a need for a "fire" fix at such an hour...might I suggest sparklers?

Sincerely,

Sleepless in NC



* Oops. I wrote several posts over the weekend and scheduled them on blogger to post on different days.

That is a great concept.

Except I messed up.

This letter was suppose to have posted yesterday and today should have been the Mosaic Meme.

I am smart like that.

Maybe tomorrows post will be about Christmas.

No.

I tease.

I will give you a hint what it will be about:

The Impending Arrival!!!

14 comments:

Susan said...

That's terrible! Some people are so insensitive to mothers who need sleep and the heart attacks that we have when we think our lives and the lives of our children are in danger.
Glad to hear the cops showed up promptly and removed that little punk!

Kellan said...

I am not a fan of fireworks! Oh ... I love the ones the City is allowed to set off - the Big Show, you know - it's the fireworks the "locals" get their hands on that I'm not a fan of - afraid of - HATE!!

Have a good day, Wendi - see you soon - Kellan

amanda said...

omg - are we neighbors?? our lovely little neighbors were out thursday, friday and saturday night :(

not cool. friend. just not cool.

i mean i don't want to hate on the 4th, but some people need to get a life!

as for the impending arrival...you are killing me!!

Simply Shannon said...

I absolutely hate illegal fireworks! I'm terrified of the dang things too.
I am totally digging the fact that your local idiot set up camp right by the chief of police! HA! Sometimes there is justice in the world.
Sorry that you had to suffer due to some punk's bad behavior though.

Carol said...

I am a big fan of scheduled posts too.

Except when I mess it up.

Then it sucks.

If it makes you feel better Fireworks here are fair game any day any time.

I am not so happy about that.

Stephanie said...

The Impending Arrival of WHAT?!?!?! Did I miss something? I don't think I did...

My neighbors? Yes. Fireworks in the middle of the night. Annoying. Kids. Ugh!!! I totally understand...

Kristen said...

See you did it again. Posted about yet another reason why you should move to our town.

You see, when you live around areas where forest fires are a very REAL thing, you can't even buy fireworks. In fact, I am not so sure that you can even buy fireworks in the Western States of America.

So see there you have it. Leave the idiots to the local Police Chief, and head out west. Where for the 4th of July, you and the family can have a great time with Poppers!! :)

Oh, impending arrival...I am so excited!! :)

duchess said...

I'm thinking some illegal alcohol might have been involved - just a guess.

Are you getting a puppy??

Pearls To Hide My Neck said...

I read your post this morning and sad to say....I almost fell out of the chair laughing. I can so picture the whole thing in my head. Sorry you lost a night of sleep. Bet the kid is grounded for a LONG time.
I left you something on my blog :)

Krystyn said...

Seriously, we live in the same neighborhood. Why do people think they need to set off professional fireworks for their own pleasure?

I just wish the chief of police lived in our neighborhood!

Cecily R said...

We lived in a neighborhood where people did crud like that a few years ago. It was so...neat. Some people are just really dumb.

Hmmmmm. Impending arrival...you better post about it soon or I'm going to start some rumors. :)

Lauren said...

I am so glad that you wrote this letter. Very passionately and wonderfully written.

Glad you sent the police on over, too.

Erin said...

I hear ya sista,

Our back yard neighbor- a single guy- did the exact same thing but on the 3rd of July. It went from 1am-3am. Am I the only party pooper that would like to sleep? At 2:50 it woke Patrick up too and he went outside and had a "talk" with them. What are people thinking? Obviously- they are not!

I will adopt this letter as my own! Thank you!!

carrie & troy keiser said...

I love that you write these great, "I've been there thought that" open letters! I enjoy every one.... mostly because this time it's you and not me!