NOT ME! MONDAY

I saw this on her blog and decided I wanted to play along.

It looked like fun.

So here is my first ever Not Me! Monday.

I did not manage to lead 55 children in song at the annual Thanksgiving program at the preschool.

Nope....not me.

One little girl certainly did not have to go potty just before we began and she certainly did not begin crying profusely.

She did not have to be taken off stage never to return.

Her mom would have been so embarrassed.

Speaking of embarrassing.

I did not see any one flash me their panties and I did not see any one pick their nose.

Especially no child of mine.

I did not see Cole turn his back to the audience so he could "pick" privately.

Whew!

I did not jump for joy (in my mind) when it was over!

I did not let the praise an adoration of the parents go to my head.

I did not secretly giggle thinking if only they knew there is not a trace of musical ability in my body.


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I did not think I could relax after the Thanksgiving program was over.

Nope... not me.

The director of the preschool did not sign us up to sing in a Christmas Concert for the elderly in our community.

And she did not mention it was next Wednesday.

I did not panic.

I do not have to teach the children Christmas songs and put together a program in 4 practices.

I do not need to be reminded again why I am doing this.


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I have never mentioned any of my many addictions.

One of them is definitely not the Twilight series.

I did not jump up and down with excitement when I heard it was being made into a movie.

I did not purchase my tickets a week in advance so I would be assured of a seat.

I do not have addictions like that.

I did not go to see Twilight on opening night.

I was not one of the oldest people in the theater.

I am not seconds away from adding a tube of Clearasil to my bathroom cabinet.

I did not feel like a crazed tween fan when Edward came on screen.

My heart did not flutter.

And I most certainly did not want to scream out, "Marry me!"

That would have been so silly.

I did not want to watch it again.

And definitely not the same night.

I did not enjoy it at all.

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I am not still preparing for my class reunion.

I did not consider not going since I never lost those 25 pounds that I needed too.

I did not have to deal with irresponsible classmates this weekend who have waited until the last possible moment to pay.

I did not have a great time last night with the reunion committee.

I did not enjoy looking through photos from the last 30 years.

I did not laugh and giggle at all our eighties hair.

I did not wish to burn some photos of my fashion sense.(or lack of)

Go on over to her blog and check out more of the Not me! Monday fun!

It's Raining, It's Snowing

Look really closely at these photos.

Do you see something that is not supposed to be there?

No, I know the shrubs need pruning and the yard needs weeding.

Not that.

Squint.

Now turn your head down to the right.

Now look.

Do you see something glistening and white?

That my friends is snow.

Yup, the first of the season.

Probably the first in several seasons.

It may be all the snow I see this year so I took the opportunity to run around in the flurries and snap a few photos.

I know it is hard to see.

I know it looks like a slight case of dandruff falling from the sky.

But I live in the south and we don't see much snow.

Ever.

So I admit I got a little giddy about the flurries.

Is it possible to make just a teaspoon of Snow cream?

The Keywords That Brought Us Together

Just a few months ago I shared with you some of the keywords that led you to me.

Thanks to Google Analytics I have more.

They were just too good not to share.


Wendi with an i
Yup, you found me. Not that many of us. I love the spelling of my name.
Thanks for noticing. Most people don't. They usually spell it Wendy with a y. Who is clearly not me.

Because I Said So Dogs Name
I must discourage naming your dog Because I Said So. That would be a mouthful to just get your dog to heel or sit. "Because I Said So heel boy."
And then the dog would look at you and wonder why and you would reply, "Because I Said So." And then the dog would be even more confused. Just not a good idea.
Of course you could be asking what my dogs name is since my blog once was called Because I Said So. In that case....Tar. See simple. One syllable.

Heels Driving Snow Site
I have no idea how you got here. I haven't seen snow in years.
Not. a. flake.

Short love poems made on dog bites.
Hmmmm. I enjoy a good poem, but I have never written one on dog bites.
I will give it a try.

Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
If you break my heart,
I will sic my dog on you!

How's that?

Scariest Chili Recipe
My feelings are hurt. Why would you be sent here? I make a mean chili.
Not scary chili. I call it Wendi's Can Can Chili because I use a can of this and a can of that. I don't see anything scary about it. It is quite tasty really. Try it.

I scared to send kiss you because I don't want to infect you.
What is up with the scared theme here? Although for this one I am glad.
I don't want you to send me any kisses. Especially if there is a possibility of infection. Go stalk some other blog!

Wendi watching grass grow.
There is a lot of things I do in a day. I am a mom of three children. I can assure you that I do not have any extra time to be watching grass grow.

When the dog bites, When the bee stings, When I'm feeling Brown.
I hope you just got confused on the lyrics here. The word is Blue.
When I am feeling blue. If you are feeling brown, may I suggest a doctor.
Immediately.

Outdoorsy Kids Vacation
If there is one thing I am not it is outdoorsy. I am allergic to camping.
And bugs. And wild animals. And dirt. And cooking over a campfire.
And fishing. Next.

Fall asleep sitting slurring words
Guilty. I do this often when reading books to my children. They find it annoying. It is hereditary. My mom did it too.
If you are falling asleep sitting slurring words because you are drunk then I think a 12 step program is in your future.

What to do if an addict is in denial.
That is easy. Embrace you addictions. Own them. I did.
I was in complete denial about my blogging addictions. Once I admitted I had the addiction I added a few more. Like Twitter. Now I am Social Network addict and proud of it!

Husbands fishing addiction
Boy did you come to the right place. Where do I begin? I am just thrilled that none of my addictions have left me injured, wet, cold, sunburned, or smelly.

One of these shoes is not like the other
Maybe you should try buying a matching pair. Mismatched shoes are so last year.

You're my urinal
I certainly hope not. I don't want to be your urinal. Though I do have a lovely one on my front steps. At least Nana thinks so.

Monday Mumblings

I finally did it.

I clicked THE button.

You know the one of which I speak.

The "mark all as read button".

When my reader hit 748 I knew I was just going to get further and further behind.

So last night I mustered up all my strength.

Closed my eyes and clicked it.

Guess what?

Nothing blew up.

My heart didn't stop beating.

The earth continued to spin.

I felt a sense of peace wash over me.

I will never know what I did not read.

Right?

I am going to be okay.

I now challenge you.

When your reader gets too full and the pressure becomes too much...just click it.

You will thank me later.

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Claire has come down with Fifth Disease.

Also known as "Slap Cheek".

Her cheeks are rosy red and her upper body is covered in a fine rash.

I sent her to school because she is no longer contagious.

She called me at noon to ask if I could pick her up.

She thought it had spread.

She could possibly have a fever.

And her back was a bit itchy.

I went to school and signed her out.

Funny thing...since she has been home... no mention of fever or itching.

I think she got me...AGAIN!

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I have been working hard on my class reunion.

I am collecting the monies.

And harassing the non-payees.

I feel more like a thug than a treasurer at this point.

It also just occurred to me I have 2 weeks to lose 30 pounds.

That IS possible... right?

I can just chew on air for the next fourteen days.

That is my plan anyway.

I mean I have only known for 20 years that this day was coming.

Nothing like waiting until 2 weeks before to freak out panic starve start a plan of action.

I am nothing if not a procrastinator.
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I have a horrible cough.

I am not sleeping well at night.

Because I am coughing.

And hacking.

My voice is hoarse and my throat is sore.

This Friday is the Thanksgiving Program at the preschool.

Remember who the music teacher is?

That's right....me!

After three days of practice, I wonder how I will sound?

Maybe if the audience is lucky I will lose my voice all together.

If I am not around much this week, just know that the busy got me.

Hopefully, next week will be slower.

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I am a lucky girl.

Tomorrow I have a free afternoon.

To do with what I wish.

My husband was coerced tricked so kind as to give me some time sans kids.

I haven't decided what to do first.

Suggestions?

I may just drive my car around the block, park it, and take a nap.

I wonder if the neighbors would notice?

My Little Picasso

I thought I would share a little fall art from my budding Picasso.

I love anything with his sweet hand prints.

I love this fall tree.

Check out Cole's fine cutting and gluing skills.

Almost on the lines is good...right?

I love it!

This is an interesting interpretation of a Pilgrim.

It is my invitation to the Thanksgiving Program.

I asked Cole why his Pilgrim had so many circles on his face.

He looked at me and said..."Aw Mom the two on either side of his face are ears and the two in the middle are his eyes."

Confused, I continued...." But Cole you have four ears and four eyes, why is that?"

Looking at me as if I had three heads he said, " But Mom you taught me that two plus two is four so I did everything in fours."

"Of course Cole that makes perfect sense."

Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek

I Stink At This Mom Gig

I know it is hard to believe.

It is for me too.

But sometimes things aren't always fresh baked cookies and field trips over here.

I would love to paint you that "perfect" picture, but truthfully that is not how it is.

Take this morning for example.

I was looking over an assignment Claire did.

I noticed a few typos and grammatical mistakes.

I also knew she had not included a few of the requirements.

I offered to retype the assignment and make the corrections.

All hell broke loose.

Claire was not interested in having me correct anything.

It was her assignment after all.

Screaming and crying ensued.

And that was just me.

Then Claire started.

Then Chad added his two cents worth.

Which I clearly did NOT ask for.

Chaos.

I don't try to be controlling.

Really.

I was only trying to help.

Truly.

But sometimes my good intentions come across as controlling.

Or trying to make everything perfect.

For that I am sorry.

I am still learning.

I am not a pro at this whole Mom gig.

I still make mistakes.

I made a huge one this morning.

Will fresh baked cookies and a hug make it all better?

That is what I am hoping for.

Field Trip With Fourth Graders (Part 3)

We pulled into the parking lot of Jockey's Ridge and were told this would be our lunch spot.

The teachers pointed to a picnic area and we scurried off the bus in hopes of the warm sun thawing us out.

That my friends did not happen.

The picnic area was shaded and cold.

The wind was relentless.

At that point I was wishing my cold sandwich and grapes would turn into hot soup.

We all ate quickly and then headed up to the dunes.

I don't think I have ever seen dunes so large.

Ginormous even.

And wouldn't you know it.... they wanted us to climb them.

So we did.

One step at a time.

We trudged and trudged.

From the top you could see for miles across the Outer Banks.

It was a beautiful view of the island.

Then I noticed most of the kids were no longer on top of the dunes.

They were rolling down them.

Way down.

Including Claire.

Notice she chose to take OFF her shoes.

Because who would climb sand dunes at the beach with shoes on?

Right?

Of course being the fun mom I am I chose to stay put.

And keep my shoes on.

I did not want to find sand in places sand should not be.

I stood on top of the dunes and snapped photos.

I also belted out things like, "Don't roll down if you think you can't climb back up".

And "Look at all that sand, do you really want to take that home as a souvenir?"

Like I said...fun mom!

The kids had a great time and Jockey's Ridge was by far the highlight of their trip.

Sand and all!

We spent a few hours there and then headed to the Bodie Island Lighthouse.

After a brief tour we were on our way home.

My little happy dance ensued.

Fourth Grade Field Trip (Part 2)

Shaking and shivering we left The Lost Colony.

We only drove a few miles down the road before we came to our next stop.

The Wright Brothers Museum.

The greatest part?

It was warm.

After warming up running amuck touring the museum we headed outside to the bitter cold.

The Lost Colony was warm in comparison.

Do you see that memorial off in the distance?

Way off in the distance?

Like 3,000 miles in the distance?

Yup, we walked up hill against the ferocious winds that were stinging our faces.

I would like to personally thank Elaine for getting me started on my running program.

I am not sure if my endurance could have handled it otherwise.

We got to the top, snapped a few photos and then wouldn't you know it?

They wanted us to walk back down.

I looked for a ski lift or a complimentary golf cart.

No such luck.

So we began our descent.

Which eventually became a slow jog.

Which turned into a sprint to the finish line.

The finish line being the tour buses.

Which were heated and housed my blankets.

Our next stop?

The Artic Zone Jockey's Ridge.

to be continued...

Field Trip With Fourth Graders (Part 1)

Last week I went on a field trip to the Outer Banks.

With a bunch of fourth graders.

What was I thinking?

I will tell you what I was thinking.

A fun, educational trip with 6 hours of reading and nap time.

Um, have you ever ridden a bus with a lot of fourth graders?

Not. quiet.

Not conducive to naps or reading.

We had to leave at 6am.

Again, what was I thinking?

About fifteen minutes into our trip, the drama ensued.

All the kids were busily chatting on their Nintendo DS's.

Someone called someone a bad word in chat room B.

Everyone was in a tizzy over who did it?

It was like a real life version of Clue.

You know It was Mrs. Scarlett in the library with the candlestick.

Only this time it was

The girl in the hoodie, in seat 23, with a red DS.

Who of course denied it.

Thank goodness for smart, techno savvy teachers who figured out the culprit.

We arrived at The Lost Colony three hours later without much more drama.

I have lived in North Carolina my whole life but I honestly don't remember going to see the The Lost Colony.

It was actually quite interesting and educational.

For me anyway.

We went down to the stage where they put on the production.

The stage was built right in front of the ocean.

How cool is that?

Speaking of cool...it was just that.

Freezing.

I have only been colder one time in my life.

On the shore of the North Sea.

This may have been a close second.

What the temperature didn't do, the wind did.

Exhibit A.

Layer upon layer of clothes.

Wind whipping our faces.

After this picture, the hat, gloves, and scarf came out.

Then we clamored back on the bus and hoped we could warm up before our next stop.

We never did.

To be continued....

Tuesday Tidbits

I am sure you don't need reminding, but.....

Get out and vote!

I voted last week.

The lines were long, but I was still in and out in 30 minutes.

Four years ago I waited in line for 3 1/2 hours.

With a 7 month old.

Not. good.

It could only be worse if I had to take a four year old.

And possibly a nine and twelve year old.

So glad I don't have to go there.

I puffy heart early voting.

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My husband is off today.

One guess as to where he is.

Nope.

He already voted last week too.

Next guess?

Oh how right you are.

He is on a boat....fishing for um, well...fish.

The weather forecast?

Cloudy, windy, and 90% chance of rain.

Not 10%.

90%.

That would mean in all likelihood it will rain.

When will he learn?

I am so glad my addictions hobbies involve being indoors with heat, plumbing, and electricity .

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Last week the busy never let up and I am way behind in my visiting and commenting on your blogs.

My reader is sitting at 614.

I see no other way out of this.

I may have to resort to that "mark all as read" button.

Please forgive me?

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Last Thursday I went on a field trip to the Outer Banks with a bus load of 4th graders.

Lets just say that the 12 hour excursion provided me lots of blog fodder.

And 200 photos.

Stay tuned.

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Has anyone started their Christmas shopping?

Please don't tell me if you have already finished.

I may have to hunt you down and beat you.

I have started.

I now have 5 presents.

Two of which are wrapped.

My goal is to have my shopping completed by the end of the month.

A girl can dream ...can't she?

A Halloween Story

Once upon a time there was a little girl that enjoyed Halloween.

She enjoyed the decorating and the dressing up and the carnivals.

She enjoyed the trick-or-treating and the candy.

Especially the candy!

Then the little girl grew up and Halloween became HalloWORK!

There were costumes to create, parties to plan, cupcakes to bake, candy to buy, parties to attend, and a house to decorate.

She wasn't feeling the fun of the holiday anymore.

Each year when October rolled around she would mope and pout and cringe at the very thought of ALL that needed to be done.

Then one year the girl put on her thinking cap and thought of ways to enjoy Halloween again.

She decided to simplify her decorations.

She decided to buy simple costumes.

She decided not to volunteer as grade mother.

She decided to buy the cupcakes instead of baking them herself.

She only attended one party and only signed up to bring candy.

She let her twelve-year-old pass out the candy for the trunk-or-treat so she could walk with her four-year-old.

She decorated her trunk with minimum decorations.

At the end of the day, the girl was not as tired as she had been in years past.

The girl enjoyed Halloween again.

Especially the candy! (darn that candy!!!)